Dennis Friedman

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Picture credit: Dennis Toff

Psychiatrist Dennis Friedman became a sought after media commentator on the relationships of the British royal family after writing a series of “psychobiographies” of the royals.1 2 3 His real interest, however, was the dynamics of all families—particularly the way early upbringing may affect people’s later lives.

His theories were drawn from his lengthy clinical career, firstly in general practice in the early years of the NHS, then as a psychiatrist. Friedman was still in contact with some of his patients—albeit informally—when he died at the age of 90. His recently updated book Inheritance: A Psychological History of the Royal Family1 considers the effect of the parenting styles of the country’s most prominent family, from Queen Victoria’s distant relations with her firstborn son, to the current Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s more relaxed relationship with the infant Prince George.

Friedman’s wife of 65 “extremely happy” years, the writer Rosemary Friedman, said that her late husband’s decision to write about the royal family stemmed from a desire to illustrate family relationships by using a family that everyone knew about. “It wasn’t really so much [royalty]. He was looking for a key, so he could describe one family, and everyone could relate to them, their relationships and methods of bringing up their children. He used it as a jumping off point,” she said.

Friedman believed that outsourcing the care of a baby to nannies could lead to infidelity and other problems in later life—a view that has been controversial, particularly among working women. During the banking crisis, he opined in the media that the bankers’ failures may have reflected a lack of maternal love in their childhood, while commenting on his book An Unsolicited Gift: Why We Do What We Do.4 In the book itself, he wrote: “Children with few inner resources will grow up to source the missing component of their birthday gift. Sexual promiscuity, the misuse of chemicals, risk taking, and crime provide a quick fix. Those who . . . seek the illusion of security through financial fraud, who look for highs by risking their lives and the lives of others by living dangerously, are likely to be re-enacting a time when the two people they might have expected to provide them with love and security failed to do so.”4

Literary success aside, Mrs Friedman said that her husband believed his greatest achievement was the warm relationships he had with his patients. “His patients always became his friends. I have had so many letters from people about how he turned their lives around and made them able to function. From when he started in general practice he had this ability to connect with the patients. It was more than a consultation,” she said. “He had this art of communicating with them, opening up, and making them feel at ease. It didn’t matter whether they were teenagers or elderly people, from any walk of life.” His patients ranged from newspaper sellers to cabinet ministers, she said.

Born in Stamford Hill, north London, Friedman trained at St Bartholomew’s Hospital before completing his studies at Queens’ College, Cambridge. As a singlehanded general practitioner in Edgware for 15 years, he looked after a list of 3000 people, at a time when general practice meant many home visits, often at night. Eventually he returned to Barts to train in psychiatry, having decided that this was the branch of medicine where he felt most comfortable. He became a member of the Royal College of Psychiatrists in 1964, and was elected a fellow in 1978.

Clinical posts included medical director of the London Stress Clinics at the Devonshire Hospital (1988-91) and the Charter Clinic in Chelsea (1991-94), and consultant psychiatrist at the Florence Nightingale Hospital and the Cromwell Hospital. He also practised privately, seeing patients in consulting rooms in Harley Street and Wimpole Street, as well as at his family home in Regents Park, London.

During his psychiatric career he undertook research into phobias, sexual problems, and parenting issues. Much of his early research from the 1960s involved the development of behavioural therapy techniques to desensitise people with phobias.5 6 During the 1970s and 1980s, his interests shifted to psychosexual medicine and sexual dysfunction.7 8 9

He turned to writing on his retirement at the age of 75, publishing six books during the 1990s and 2000s. More recently, Friedman himself became a patient, recuperating from heart disease. This experience inspired his only novel, The Lonely Hearts Club,10 which takes as its premise a group of men who meet in a gym while undertaking cardiac rehabilitation. Mrs Friedman said her husband had himself become the focus of a group of patients who stayed in touch and often lunched together after their rehabilitation classes.

Dennis Friedman leaves his wife, Rosemary (née Tibber), and four daughters.